May 11, 2010
Final Thought
I once heard someone say that if the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning is writing, then you’re supposed to be a writer.
Well, writing is the first thing I think about when I wake up, it is the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and it consumes most of my thoughts during the day.
But am I really supposed to be a writer?
I think about writing all the time and I ponder many different things that I want to write, but the problem is I don’t actually do it. I have never been good at keeping a journal or diary, I get bored and tired of writing in it. So while I think about writing every morning I never do it, I just think about it. So, I ask you if the adage is true and I am I really supposed to be a writer?
May 10, 2010
Mother’s Day (column 4- xtra cred)
All 28 family members spent Mother’s Day at the grandparents’ house which is still in New Territory like the rest of us. No one brought food like the regular family gatherings because this one seemed to be more impromptu.
We usually all gather at Willy’s restaurant in New territory for family outings. It’s close and can easily accommodate such a large group, but I think this time everyone just kind of showed up at Grandma’s house on their own.
All family gatherings are different with a different atmosphere and feel to them. Some are very chaotic while some are very calm and seem like there’s nothing to it. That’s how Mother’s Day was, very calm and almost serene. There was no chaos, no drama like usual which is to be expected when that many family members gather.
Because my back has been hurting this semester I have only seen the family on holidays, so the last time I say anyone was at Easter. A weird tension seemed to be in the room during Easter, or at least between my birth-father, my sister and me.
Before my back started hurting again I used to go over to their house every week. We would have dinner and talk about things that were going on in each other’s lives and we had a favorite TV show, Survivor, that we would always watch together.
But, since my back I haven’t gone over to their house to watch Survivor and I think I hurt their feelings. I would text them and Facebook them to tell them about my back, but until they actually saw me at Easter and saw how much pain I was in, I don’t think they really understood. At Easter, they almost froze me out. They didn’t hug me and hardly spoke with me and my birth-father didn’t even look at me.
Mother’s Day was different. They seemed to understand why I hadn’t been able to come by to watch our show, but I guess what they didn’t know was that i was watching it on my own so I would still have that bond with them.
I started out talking with my little sister about what was going on with the show. She and I laughed and anticipated what future episodes would bring. Before long our dad sat down at the table with us and so did the step-mom and they joined in the conversation. We were all laughing and strategizing and questioning the show, just like we would had I been at their house watching.
All the laughter and conversation inevitably turned to harassing my little sister because like everyone said that’s what big sisters do. We also discussed our christmas wishes for this year suggesting to our dad that we wanted and iPad.
Our grandmother got one for Mother’s Day which is what sparked the conversation. Heather mentioned she wanted one and then I said that’s what I was going to ask for. Heather then turned to dad and said he would have to buy two. He laughed and said it looked that way, but then I reminded him that he has three other children and would probably have to buy five. He laughed again in agreement and then said it would actually have to be six, one for our step-mom and one for my mom too. We suggested he see if he could get a bulk rate from the Apple Company, you know, “cheaper by the dozen”.
I actually had already told my mom to suggest to my birth-father to get me an IPad for Christmas, he really likes giving electronic gifts. He always has trouble finding things for me, I’m not really into that much electronic stuff and he doesn’t like giving the girly gifts. He wants to be sure we know the gift is from him and was picked out by him not pawned off onto a mom like most dad’s do.
So I had the best time that afternoon with my dad. He hugged me, he looked at me and bantered with me. It was great. My little brother even kept bugging him to leave because he was bored (he doesn’t watch Survivor with us) but he kept saying no because he wanted to keep talking with me. (My mom point those little things out to me because I’m so immersed in the time I’m spending with him that I miss little things like that.)
Even though Mother’s Day is supposed to be for mom, I still had a great time with my dad.
May 5, 2010
DWTS: Take 6
So, Pamela Anderson was voted off Dancing with the Stars this week and I can’t say I’m all that upset. She wasn’t really that good of a dancer and her scores showed it. She was just very popular as we all know.
She actually started to annoy me as the weeks went on. She was always trying to be sexy and sultry when the dance or the situation didn’t warrant it. I know it was to attract votes but it still was uncalled for.
Her partner kind of creeped me out too, the way he was always touching her and feeling all over her. Time and place man, time and place.
May 3, 2010
Adoptive-Parents (column 3)
My adopted parents divorced when I was 18. Actually, the real story goes, that my mom was away on a business trip when my dad packed his things and left us. He called my older brother and myself into the living room to tell us that he already had an apartment and he was leaving and so he left and my brother and I had to tell my mom when she got home from her trip.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, let’s pour some salt into the open wound and tell you that he left on my birthday. He waited until I turned 18 so he wouldn’t have to pay child-support, which I guess I understand, but on the day of my birthday and when my mom was out-of-town I didn’t quite get.
But, growing up with my parents was great. I was daddy’s little girl and we had a great relationship. I guess you could say he spoiled me but that’s what daddies do. We had a very special relationship. He would take me out fishing with him, just him and me and he always had a bag of skittles hiding in the van waiting for me to eat on the drive. Even when he first moved out we still saw each other everyday or at least spoke on the phone. It wasn’t until he re-married that our relationship soured.
So we did have our problems and I guess looking back maybe I shouldn’t have been all that surprised when he walked out on my birthday, they never really seemed to take precedence over anything. He missed every one of my birthdays growing up anyway.
See, my birthday is November 8 which is the opening week of hunting season so he was always out-of-town hunting on my birthday. In fact, he was out-of-town hunting when my mom got the call from the adoption agency that I had been born and they needed to come finish the paper work and get me. So, maybe I really shouldn’t have been all that surprised.
My mom and I were and still are very close. She was like my security blanket. I had to have her with me every where I went. She was at every dance recital, band contest, choir competition, girl scout event and even school trips and she had her own full-time job.
I even dragged her to another country, twice. When I was 13 and again at 14 I went as a student exchange to Japan and managed to get my mom on the trip as a chaperone, both years.
After the divorce she and I just became closer, we were all each other had. My brother had moved to Colorado and she and I were it. It took a lot of getting used to, especially for my mom. She had to learn how to lean on her teen-aged daughter for help and support. We both had to learn to see each other more as friends as I go older and less as mother and daughter.
She is my best friend. We have helped each other through numerous occasions. She even picked up her life and moved us to Sugar Land so I could get to know my birth-family. She said it was an experience she didn’t want me to miss out on and didn’t want me to wonder the rest of my life. So, instead she quit her job and left her friends and picked up and moved three hours away from everything we had known for the unknown.
She and I have a special bond now. We know what the other is thinking and even finish each other’s sentences. My brother calls us an oddity, but we don’t see it that way. We see ourselves as being like Lorelei and Rory Gilmore, best friends and mother and daughter.
May 1, 2010
More DWTS Drama
According to DWTS there is another hook-up between Cheryl Burke and Chad Ochocinco. He has been flirting with her and trying to get her to date him since day one and he finally broke her down.
He bought her a diamond “friendship” ring which she wears when dancing with him, but up until recently a romance between the two was pure speculation, like the rumored romance between Derek and his Pussycat Doll.
Nicole reportedly has a boyfriend and says there is nothing going on with Derek except dancing. However, this is not the first time Derek has dated his partner and she had a boyfriend in the beginning too.
April 29, 2010
Birth-Parents (column 2)
My birth-parents are no-longer together. They split up a year after the twins were born. My dad got full custody of all the children but gave visitation to their mother. I’m not sure if she gave him custody or if the judge did, but after meeting her I think it was the best decision for everyone.
My birth-father has taken me in and accepted me as his daughter even letting me call him dad when I want to which actually came about naturally for both of us. I didn’t have a father figure in my life at that time and he always treated me the same as his other children. He nick-named me Runt telling me that he calls all his children by nick-names, and I am the smallest in the family.
He spent the same amount of time and money on me for my birthdays and Christmas as he did on the other four kids and all of his friends already knew about me – I wasn’t a surprise to anyone. It all felt so natural that calling him “dad” was just as natural.
Once I made the mistake of calling him “daddy”, in a joking manner, in front of Heather. She was only eight years old and didn’t realize I was just joking and she was really offended, no she was angry. I finally got her to talk to me and I explained that I was joking but if it bothered her that much I wouldn’t do it any more.
I also asked her if it bothered her if I called him “dad”, which wouldn’t really be fair because he is my dad and I have a right to call him dad, but I am the adult and if it hurts her then I wouldn’t do it. She said calling him “dad” was fine because all the others call him “dad” but she is the only one that can call him “daddy”.
We came to an understanding and I try to take her feelings and reactions into consideration while at the same time I take them with a grain of salt.
He has always been open with me about any questions I have about my adoption from his point of view or any other questions I have about the family.
I was curious about his divorce from my birth-mother and his other marriages. My birth-mother told me he was on his fifth marriage and I wanted to know why. He said his wife now was his third and he doesn’t really count his second marriage as a marriage. He and his second wife were married for a year and a half but separated for a year of that time.
I was also curious about my siblings and whether any of them were considered for adoption or just me. He told that Travis was considered but the grand-parents wouldn’t allow it. In fact, he told me that had his parents known about me then I wouldn’t have been adopted either, and that once everyone learned about my adoption there was a fight between my aunt and my grandparents about who would have taken me if they had only known about me – the family didn’t learn about my birth and adoption until I was two years old.
His wife now, my step-mom I guess, is only 13 years older than me, the same age difference as my sister and I, so we have more of a friendship relationship, I think with her forgetting that I am his daughter as well as her friend.
There’s not much too say about the birth-mother, and yes I said ”the” not “my”. There is no relationship of any kind and there never has been. The first day I met her she looked me in the eye with a comment that neither I nor my mom or birth-father took seriously.
“Now that I have seen you and I see that you are happy and healthy and I see that you have a good relationship with your mother, now that I have seen that, if I never see you again for the rest of my life, I will be ok with that.”
Like I said, no one took her seriously, but she was serious. Since that day she has not spoken to or seen me. Actually I should say she hasn’t acknowledged me, because we have obviously seen each other on occasion.
We have seen each other at my birth-father’s house on holidays and we have run into each other at extra-curricular activities and she never acknowledges that I am in the room.
One Christmas she showed up at my birth-father’s house to drop of gifts for the other children. My mom and I were sitting on the sofa next to each other when she walked in and started a conversation with my mom but not a single word or glance to me.
Everyone was stunned in amazement that she was talking to my mom but not to me and we were all very confused when she left. Every encounter with her has been along those same lines.
The best anyone can figure is that maybe it is too hard for her to be around me. Maybe I remind her of what she did and she feels guilty for it, and now that she has seen me and she knows that I am happy and have a good relationship with my mom she has finally gotten her closure and that part of her life is now finished and she can’t look back.
While I understand her situation I also think she could have handled it better or differently. It is not my fault and I do not deserve to be ostracized by her from that part of my life, from getting to know that part of my family. I know nothing about her side of the family; she is the only one I know in her family, but judging from the way she treats me maybe I don’t want to know her family.
April 27, 2010
DWTS: Take 5
This week ex-star from the Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, was booted off DWTS. The judges’ bottom two came down to Jake and Pamela but once the viewers’ votes were counted the bottom two changed.
With the viewers’ votes the bottom two changed to Jake and Niecy Nash.
Niecy isn’t that good of a dancer but she brings comedic relief to the show. Every season has had one or two people who bring comedy to the show. Last season it was Donnie Osmond, one season showcased Cloris Leachman, and this season has Niecy.
Sometimes they can dance, Donnie for example won last season, but sometimes they aren’t very good, Cloris for example, but they hang around for quite a while because they are so much fun and people want to see their stage presence.
It cam down to Niecy and Jake and Jake lost the vote. I don’t really remember any of his dances and didn’t even remember who he was. He wasn’t all that memorable of a dancer so it was time for him to go.
April 25, 2010
All Women have Cellulite
Why do women attack other women? I saw an article titled “Celebrity Cellulite Wars”. The article pitted different female celebrities against each other to determine who had more cellulite than the other.
Pamela Anderson vs. Kate Gosselin saying,
“Pamela wins. Unfortunately for Kate, having eight kids may have contributed to unflattering dimples.”
Ashley Simpson vs. Jessica Alba saying,
“Jessica wins. Both moms had babies in 2008, but pregnancy wasn’t as kind to Ashley who reveals rippling on her rear.”
Terri Hatcher vs. Nicollette Sheridan saying,
“Nicollette wins. Terri Hatcher, 45, reportedly pours a glass of red wine into her bath to make her skin silky, but she may need to use the whole bottle next time if she wants a smooth derriere like her former co-star Nicollette Sheridan, 46.
The problem is, not only are the people who wrote this article and others like it are women, but they make mean and uncalled for comments.
Almost every teen girl and any woman has some form of cellulite; even some men have it. There are many factors that go into creating cellulite such as hormones, genetics, diet, lifestyle, and even clothing.
The estrogen hormone is believed to be a common factor in developing cellulite which is why it is more commonly seen in women than men and why girls develope cellulite as teens.
People with stressful lifestyles, smokers, or people who sit or stand in one position for long periods of time may also be more prevalent to developing cellulite.
Clothing with tight elastic across the buttocks (limiting blood flow) may also be a contributing factor.
Even though most women will not admit they have cellulite, partially because it can not be seen, almost all women do have some form.
“Cellulite is often classified using three grades. Grade 1 classification sees no clinical symptoms, but a microscopic examination of cells from the area detects underlying anatomical changes. Grade 2 cellulite requires the skin to show pallor (pastiness), be lower temperature, and have decreased elasticity in addition to anatomical changes noted by microscopic examinations. Grade 3 cellulite has visible roughness of the skin (like an orange peel) along with all grade 2 signs. Cellulite occurs in both men and women, but it is much more common in women because they are more likely to have particular types of fat and connective tissue.”
When I see these types of articles it makes me feel bad about my own body whether my body had a problem with whatever is being scrutinized or not. It still makes me look at what I do have issues with and I feel bad.
April 23, 2010
DWTS Hook-up
According to an article in In Touch magazine this season of DWTS in much like every other season with stars hooking-up with their professionals.
In a previous season Derek Hough dated his partner Shannon Elizabeth for a short while and one season even two of the professionals, Maks and Cheryl, were engaged.
This season is no different with the rumor mill already in progress with reports that Maks is now dating his partner ESPN host Erin Andrews.
Anything to add to the drama to keep the ratings up.
April 21, 2010
DWTS: Take 4
Finally the drama queen has been booted off! Again she was in the judges bottom two and finally in the viewers bottom two and as luck would have it she finally loses the vote.
If you ask me, she should have been gone a long time ago. Not only can she not dance, but she is just too mean and nasty. Her meanness is right on par with Shannen Doherty.
According to an article in In Touch Magazine,
Kate’s Temper is out of Control
And that is just the title of the article, but according to insiders,
“She has gotten so mad in rehearsal that she tossed off her shoes and flung them against the wall.” She reportedly also had long screaming matches with her partner, Tony Devolani, over his style of instruction. “She even yells at the wardrobe crew when she doesn’t like the outfits they choose for her to wear on the show,” says the insider, adding that everyone had hoped that when Tony threatened to quit on-camera, Kate would be shamed into getting her act together.
All the stars and even the dancers go through the same tough times and stress as Kate but they manage to keep it together.
The article also tells us that all the drama that we have seen on TV has actually been toned down from the reality of it all.
All of her appalling behavior has been caught on camera – but most of it will never be seen by the viewers she’s been begging for votes every week. Because Kate is still under contract with TLC, the network allegedly made a deal with ABC and the DWTS producers to ensure that she is portrayed in a favorable light. The producers agreed to help her repair her image by editing out any particularly nasty behind-the-scenes footage.
I think everyone’s plan failed and the wicked witch I finally gone.
